I love the garburator that is part of the sink apparatus in our townhouse. Love it, but rarely use it now because we’ve been asked not to in favor of collecting our organic scraps for recycling and conserving water. (For those not familiar with this gadget, you run water as you feed organic stuff down the sink into the garburator with its blades that grind scraps tiny and send them on their way to join the rest of the sewage.)
Much as I liked it, I also found it to be temperamental in that it didn’t like scraps of a certain kind. Potato and carrot peelings were the worst. More than once it plugged up on me in the middle of preparing for guests. Yikes!
(Image: ariesa66 / Pixabay.com)
Kitchen Monster
My handy kitchen monster’s maw
loves peels and water, stems and pits
but if I make it eat too fast
it goes into its little fits.
Sometimes it chokes
on pip or core
plugs up the sink
backwash—“No more!”
Then I must soothe
its circle lips
with Heimlich cup
of icy chips.
It growls mechanic
cough “Ahem!”
then swallows all
its veggie phlegm.
© 2016 by Violet Nesdoly (All rights reserved)
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This post is linked to Poetry Friday, a collection of poems and poetry-related posts for your Friday reading pleasure. Poetry Friday is hosted today by Keri at Keri Recommends.
Violet Nesdoly 
“Veggie phlegm”! You are too funny, Violet. 🙂 Ours doesn’t like potato peels either.
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I must reply, “It may be fine, but say to “veggie phlegm” Goodbye! This is hilarious, and considering I just had a huge plug in the pipes a few months ago, I am sad that I didn’t try to write about it. Your poems always delight, but this one in a special way!
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Violet, this is just what I needed-a humorous poem to read when sleep does not seem to work. Your kitchen monster is quite the character. Maybe some elixir will stop the phlegm!
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Fun poem!
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Wow, what a funny and inventive poem, Violet! That’s some monster you’ve got there. But for manners, I think I’ll stick with my kitchen fairy.
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Garburator! Much more poetic than our “garbage disposal.” Three cheers for more composting!
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I’m convinced: there absolutely is nothing you can’t “poem” about in a way that is distinctly Violet. There simply is no end to your talent! Imagine taking mushy, gushy trash and recomposing it into something entertainingly wholesome. You are an amazing poet. God bless you! Thanks so much for sharing.
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Dear CB, you are too kind! But thank you. I so appreciate your words (and all the lovely comments). Hope the “phlegm” was not too off-putting!
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Within the context of your real-time poem: no other word could have come close to performing the way that compact little gem did! The word conveyed respectfully, realistically gross in a way I admired and smiled at! Really helped bring the “kitchen monster” to life; even made it a character I could sympathize with! I liked it!
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Hilarious, Violet! I’ll never look into the sink the same way again – “circle lips” indeed! =)
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You know, Violet, you prove that inspiration is everywhere, if we just look. (I’ll confess, my real question is — do ice chips truly work as a remedy, or is that poetic license?)
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Keri, yes, ice chips have come to the rescue for me many times. I don’t understand the physics of it, but our slightly plugged garburator responded very well to this first aid!
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My mother and I had a discussion recently because I put my egg shells down the disposal right in front of her. She yelled, “Egg shells can’t go in the disposal!” So then she went on a lengthy Google search to see which of us was right. Needless to say, she was. Aren’t Moms always right? I really should start a compost. She also told me about ice chips. Who knew?
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kitchen monster’s maw – my husband would love this one! 🙂
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Your kitchen monster reminds me of our drain monster – though for very different reasons! Ours is just a glugging drain, that grumps and groans all manner of moods and messages. Love your third verse! Well done.
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Ah, Katswhiskers “grumps and groans all manner of moods and messages” – Sounds interesting! Thanks for coming by 🙂
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